{"id":1705,"date":"2020-12-10T16:15:15","date_gmt":"2020-12-10T16:15:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thenextweb.com\/?p=1331206"},"modified":"2020-12-10T16:15:15","modified_gmt":"2020-12-10T16:15:15","slug":"were-all-bad-listeners-here-are-my-tricks-to-become-a-better-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/?p=1705","title":{"rendered":"We\u2019re all bad listeners \u2014 here are my tricks to become a better one"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
<\/div>\n

Boris is the wise ol\u2019 CEO of TNW who writes a weekly column on everything about being an entrepreneur in tech \u2014 from managing stress to embracing awkwardness. You can get his musings straight to your inbox by signing up for his newsletter!<\/a><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Many conversations are just one person waiting for the other person to stop talking so they can tell their own story. How do I know? Ehm\u2026 well maybe I find myself too often in that situation.<\/p>\n

Sometimes it\u2019s fine though, and you\u2019re both just associating freely, letting one thought lead to another. But other times, it\u2019s just because you\u2019re bored by someone\u2019s story and want to impress others with your own better story. Every now and again, however, it\u2019s simply because you\u2019re too lazy. Again, I\u2019m speaking from experience.<\/p>\n

While I\u2019m guilty of these fundamental conversational sins just as much as everyone else, I console myself with the fact that at least I\u2019m aware of my wrongdoing. Also, I\u2019ve got neat tricks to force myself to pay attention.<\/p>\n

First up: imagine the life of the person you\u2019re listening to.<\/p>\n

[Read: Being an entrepreneur is stressful \u2014 here\u2019s how I unwind<\/a>]<\/em><\/p>\n

This definitely sounds weird, so let me explain. When I\u2019m talking to someone and feel my attention slipping, I focus on the person\u2019s face and imagine what it tells me about their life. I look at the crow\u2019s feet around their eyes, do they love to make people laugh? Or maybe they go to see every rom-com that\u2019s released in the cinema? I see their tanned skin and wonder if they ever backpacked in an exotic country and what amazing things they might have experienced there.<\/p>\n

Everyone has a story, and they\u2019re all worth listening to. Pretty soon, I\u2019ll appreciate this person more, and because I\u2019m so focused on them and invested in the idea of their life, I\u2019ll be able to listen better to what they have to say now.<\/p>\n

My other \u2018trick\u2019 revolves around empathy.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a word that seems closely related to pity or compassion, but empathy is more than that. It\u2019s the ability to understand other people\u2018s emotions or even predict and understand someone\u2019s thinking.<\/p>\n

When someone tells a story, I stare at their face and try to imagine what they are thinking and what they want to achieve with the story they\u2019re telling. Basically, I refocus my attention from my own thoughts to the speaker\u2019s story by thinking about their motivation, making me a better listener.<\/p>\n

Giving someone your full attention is an easy way to make someone feel appreciated. Unfortunately, there\u2019s a voice in your head that\u2019s always screaming for attention too. Find your own way to shut it up to give someone 100% of your attention and see what happens.<\/p>\n

Can\u2019t get enough of Boris? Check out his older stories here<\/a>, and sign up for TNW\u2019s newsletters here<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

Published December 10, 2020 \u2014 16:15 UTC <\/p>\n

Source<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Boris is the wise ol\u2019 CEO of TNW who writes a weekly column on everything about being an entrepreneur in tech \u2014 from managing stress to embracing awkwardness. You can get his…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1706,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1705"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1705"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1705\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1706"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1705"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1705"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1705"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}