{"id":8298,"date":"2021-10-11T14:39:10","date_gmt":"2021-10-11T14:39:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/TheNextWeb=1369514"},"modified":"2021-10-11T14:39:10","modified_gmt":"2021-10-11T14:39:10","slug":"what-is-the-ick-we-got-an-expert-to-explain-the-tiktok-trend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/?p=8298","title":{"rendered":"What is \u2018the ick\u2019? \u2014 we got an expert to explain the TikTok trend"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
<\/div>\n

\u2018The ick\u2019, much discussed<\/a> on TikTok and Instagram lately, is where attraction to a current or potential partner is suddenly flipped to a feeling of disgust.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s often triggered in an instant, social media users say, by witnessing some kind of turn-off \u2013 a bad dance move, a grating laugh, or an off-putting eating style.<\/p>\n

So what might be behind \u2018the ick\u2019?<\/p>\n

Are you letting \u2018the ick\u2019 undermine your chances in love?<\/h2>\n

One possibility is this is a self-defensive mechanism or strategy<\/a> to protect against relationship failure, fear of commitment, fear of intimacy, or rejection sensitivity<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Models of relationship counseling practice explain attraction is a \u201cflip flop\u201d phenomenon<\/a>, where the thing that attracts you to someone today can be the same thing that repulses you tomorrow.<\/p>\n

While the \u201cflip\u201d are the positives and the \u201cflop\u201d are the negatives, they often are side-by-side characteristics that cannot exist without the other. For example, if what you love about a person is their crazy sense of humor, you might need to accept their loud, weird laugh is part of the same package.<\/p>\n

Different meanings can be assigned to these characteristics as the relationship progresses and depending on life circumstances. For instance, someone you initially found to be \u201ccarefree\u201d can turn out to be \u201cirresponsible\u201d in important situations. Someone you originally found to be \u201cdecisive\u201d might seem \u201ccontrolling\u201d later on.<\/p>\n

Most of us want to feel safe with a partner, to trust them, have open communication, and share interests. But if unexpected behavior is suddenly turning you off, ask yourself what might be happening for you; their behavior might have triggered a long-term unresolved issue for you or it might reflect a difficulty you\u2019re having coping with life stressors. Reactions that may seem \u201cout of the blue\u201d often have an explanation that runs deeper.<\/p>\n

Humans are innately driven to seek proximity and security<\/a>. But if we feel threatened or confronted, we might look for ways to distance ourselves out of a drive for self-protection.<\/p>\n

But if you suddenly get \u2018the ick\u2019, don\u2019t act too rashly. Ask yourself if this is part of a pattern of holding back in relationships (knowingly or unknowingly) and in turn undermining your chances in love.<\/p>\n

A trigger to move on<\/h2>\n

In my research<\/a>, I have seen people move quickly from one relationship to the next looking for something specific (and, most of the time, unrealistic). A \u201ctrigger\u201d to move on can be anything such as bad fashion sense, bad taste in music, or a \u201cchildish nickname\u201d.<\/p>\n

One participant in my research would go on Tinder dates, and while at the date, be actively looking for other options around her, in case there was something better. Dating apps such as Tinder offer us such an astonishing number of possibilities, some may be asking themselves: \u201cWhy should I settle? Why can\u2019t I aim for that perfect someone?\u201d<\/p>\n

Research<\/a> has found fixed beliefs in \u201cdestiny\u201d \u2013 in other words, a belief that relationships are either \u201cmeant to be\u201d or they are not \u2013 can see people fail in the search for love.<\/p>\n

Instead, we should be adopting a more flexible view of growth \u2013 that is, see a relationship as something that can grow and change, and problems as something that can be overcome together.<\/p>\n

Adopting a growth belief can help us get to know the people we are dating and develop a synergy that will guide the relationship beyond the initial attraction or \u201choneymoon stage\u201d.<\/p>\n

Examining \u2018the ick\u2019 in the moment<\/h2>\n

If you get hit with \u2018the ick\u2019, stop and think about what\u2019s happening.<\/p>\n

Are we protecting ourselves because we\u2019ve just witnessed a red flag suggesting they are just not the right partner for us? \u201cThe ick\u201d isn\u2019t always triggered by tiny things; it could be red flag behaviors like being rude to waitstaff, or constantly talking over you.<\/p>\n

Or are we getting \u2018the ick\u2019 because we\u2019re engaging in self-sabotage and, in turn, undermining our chances of a successful intimate engagement?<\/p>\n

This process does take insight, but it is worth the exploration.<\/p>\n

Article by Raquel Peel<\/a>, Lecturer, University of Southern Queensland<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

This article is republished from The Conversation<\/a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

Source<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2018The ick\u2019, much discussed on TikTok and Instagram lately, is where attraction to a current or potential partner is suddenly flipped to a feeling of disgust. It\u2019s often triggered in an instant,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8299,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8298"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8298"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8298\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8299"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8298"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8298"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.londonchiropracter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8298"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}