You know how it is. You’re on social media minding your own business when suddenly, through no fault of your own, you post an antisemitic tweet comparing Canadian government overreach to the state-sponsored murder of millions of Jewish people.
Now you’re the bad guy? Is everyone a snowflake?
It’s not like you have any choice in the matter. You’re a 50-year-old billionaire currently under investigation for allegedly creating a safe haven for, what can only be accurately described as, Quentin-Tarantino-movie levels of racism in the workplace in at least one of your factories.
Your millions of followers deserve the truth. Tesla owners, investors, stockholders, and board members deserve to know what the hell is going on… in Canada.
The world needs to know that what’s happening in Ottawa right now is, in your highly-respected opinion, the same in every way as what occurred in the build-up to World War II with the sole exception that Germany had a bigger budget.
Haha right? Well, you’re not laughing. Because you know it isn’t a joke. You’ve done the research:
And you know a thing or two about how finances work, don’t you? You’re the richest person on Earth. That’s the whole planet, including Twitter!
Yet, somehow, you’re the bad guy? You open up your heart and stand up to the Hitler of Canada and this is the thanks you get?
Everyone knows you only tweet in defense of freedom and liberty and out of a sincere love for all creatures great and small.
Except monkeys. The only thing worse than Justin Trudeau — in all of history — is monkeys.
As far as you’re concerned, we’re better off without either. And you’re not bringing that up for any reason at all, it just bears mentioning.
Anyway, you try to do good and there’s always someone there to criticize you:
The joke’s on them. Because you’d never just toss a Hitler reference around all willy-nilly. Don’t get it twisted, you’re a notorious shit-poster and you take great pride in that. But the fact of the matter is you’re a 50-and-a-half-year-old man and the richest person in the entire galaxy.
And that means you know when to shit-post and when to tell it like it is. That’s why people trust you. You’ve been perfectly clear about your stance in the past when it comes to going around calling everyone you disagree with Hitler.
Sure, Me and the Boys® can’t go around posting Hitler memes whenever we feel like it. We have to answer to our employers, co-workers, clients, friends, and families. But you can.
You’re the richest man in the infinite realms of quantum persistence. Everything you do is okay because nobody can stop you. You answer to no person or terms of service.
If anyone disagrees with you, it’s censorship. If they don’t like what you have to say, they’re being fascists. And if Twitter doesn’t host your rhetoric, no matter how hateful some museum thinks it is, they’re treading on your Free Speech. You’re the victim here. You’re the one who’s being oppressed by an authoritarian state.
So, whatever you do Elon, don’t delete that tweet. You’re still the Lord of the Edge. You’re as cool as the other side of Billy Dee’s pillow. You’re the cat’s meow. You’re so lit it’s on fleek.
If you delete that tweet, you’ll be letting them all win.
The vaxxers will win. The people who trust science and medicine will win. The people who think Nazi war atrocities under Adolf Hitler shouldn’t be compared to politics you disagree with will win.
Whatever you do Elon, don’t delete that tweet.
